the homeschool mom and the horrible, bad day

I am not the super classical homeschool mom I'd like to be. But, mostly I manage to keep it all spinning. Mostly.  Thursday was not that day. 1st, let me set this up by saying that something a little bit more heavy then my usual plague of procrastination has hit me.  I'm suspecting it's my anemia.  I honestly sit here with things I have to do, and think..."eh...don't wanna"  and, I don't.  I raise my hand and admit I have a problem with procrastinating, but this feels different.  It's like I can't muster enough feeling to care.  For a while, I was thinking it was depression without the sadness...I just don't know.

I can sum it up and just say that lately, I've just sucked.

Here was my Thursday, in all it's Jenn-worthy moments.

How [not] to be a super homeschool mom.

5:10 a.m.  Sky wakes me up because we have to hit the road by 5:30 to get him to LAX.

5:18 a.m.  I finally emerge from my two-comforter thick /flannel sheet cocoon and face my reality. Upon opening my eyes, an anemia headache hits me.  I swallow 2 advils on the way out.

5:45 a.m.  We hop into my minivan and I attempt to warm it up. I announce to Sky that we are definitely moving to Hawaii. No more 40 degree mornings. Ever.

5:48 a.m.  Sky notices I have no gas. We take his truck instead

6:30  a.m.  drop Sky off at LAX.  I hate this airport. Anemia headache says "hello" I manage to get out of the loop alive and find my way back to the 405 freeway.  I somehow get home, my right eyebrow feels like it is drooping over my eye and I fight the urge to vomit.

7:20 a.m.  make it home. Bonus student will not arrive till 8:15 so I take 2 tylenol, an iron pill and crawl back into my bed. Think about the P.E. worksheet I need to construct, that I should have done on Wednesday but can't think. Must lie down.

8:15 a.m. Teddy arrives. His mom asks me about the p.e. worksheet, but I cannot muster a coherent reply.  Still must vomit, so I crawl back into bed.  The kids amuse themselves till I crawl out again at 9.  I take Meg to her Biola Star classes.

9:30  a.m. headache is gone. I get through Math, handwriting and grammar with the kids. Josie needs help finishing her composition class assignment.  I also have to grade her grammar.

11:30 a.m. make lunch for the kids, read an historical fiction chapter to the kids, take Josie to her Biola start class. I have forgotten about the very important P.E. worksheet I need to do because my charter school teacher needed it Monday. Or was that Tuesday? Or was it really Monday but I figured a day late would be okay? But now it's Thursday....

11:45 anemia headache hits full-force. Was on my way to get gas after dropping off Josie but now must get home or else vomit at gas station.  Having vomited in such places before, I decide I don't like being mistaken for hung-over college girl (I don't drink, but strangely this has happened to me several times-vomiting in public places;- coincidence or cosmic joke? can't decide) realizing that I am now too old to be mistaken for hung-over college girl tips the scale in favor of going home.

12:15  I down two advil, two iron pills and lemonade for better absorption.  And water, because my hands are all prune-y.  It could be anemia headache or dehydration headache, best to cover both bases.  My parents arrive to drop off a present for Sky.  They stay to chat, but leave soon because I am such rotten company.  (It's hard to be pleasant when you want to hurl and your right eyebrow feels like it is falling down your face)  magically my headache disappears 10 minutes after they leave. I feel like a jerk for not being pleasant.  I revel in how much better I now feel.

1:00 remember the p.e. worksheet I need to do. I open word and start working on it using notes from bookstore I took yesterday.

{{Here is the sorry story: the only portfolio sample I was missing at our last learning record meeting was p.e.  I am stymied a bit because I thought I was told I couldn't turn one in for anything the school considers too risky to pay usual boogie boarding at the beach, tennis or -I thought- martial arts will not be accepted.  Last month I turned in a short paragraph about running.  But I thought I was told I couldn't do running again since we did it last time. (I was wrong, by the way).  So, I had a book handy with a chapter on sports safety and warming-up, so last week I typed up a simple worksheet with a word bank for the kids to fill in. Easy.  Monday I could not find them. Kept looking, didn't panic, I lose things all the time....Tuesday I was supposed to give it to Teddy's mom to take to work to scan and email in. Still couldn't find it.  By Tuesday afternoon my afternoon schedule kicks in and all logical thought is lost....  Wednesday is my easy day. Still can't find so I decide to type up a new one. Now I cannot find the book.  I spend 2 hours cleaning, thinking I will find it. Nope.  Get the bright idea to go to Barnes & Nobles and find book there and take notes. I do this, order a nice gingerbread latte, by the way, and take my notes.  I come home, start the evening dinner crazies.  After dinner, I stare at my computer, thinking "I don't wanna..." and then end up reading a book out loud with Amie.  Go to bed.  Loser.}}

1:30  pick up Josie and Meg at Biola, get home and finish up worksheet that is now really late. I am trying to wonder how I will get it to my charter school teacher because my scanner isn't working. I decide I will take a photo of them.  My headache resumes.  I take 3 tylenol, some lemonade, an iron pill, a handful of 60% bitter chocolate chips and pour a diet coke- just to cover all bases.

2:30 must leave for art lessons for 4 youngest.  worksheet is finished and printed, but ran out of time for the kids to fill them in.  While driving, my charter school teacher calls, it goes to voicemail. Did I mention that I had an early email from her that was uncharacteristically curt?....

2:50 have dropped off kids and arrive at bagel shop for my forbidden chocolate chip bagel with strawberry cream cheese.  Decide I have to call charter school teacher back, because I shouldn't make her feel like I am avoiding her. But I kind of want to now. (Avoid her) Decide to call her from inside bagel shop because my hands-free calling thing in my car makes it impossible to actually use my phone inside my car.  I know, I try not to live an ironic life- but I can't escape it.

3:00  I sit down with my lovely bagel and diet coke and decide it is too noisy to call her back.  I decide I will call her back as I am leaving, out in the parking lot.  I reflect that this can turn out badly if she calls first, because then I would really be avoiding her call.  I go the path of least resistance and eat my bagel and read my latest Anne book.

3:05  you know what happens, right?  Busted.  She sounds really ticked at me.  I don't blame her really. But, ouch.  Somehow my rambling explanation of loss, bookstores and typing sounds really lame.  She tells me I can just have the kids draw a picture and write about running or one of their after school classes. Really? Ok.  She's really mad at me.

3:45 pick up kids,  hurry to piano lessons at 4.

in between piano drop-offs, sit the kids down and have them write about Irish dance class, martial arts and modern dance respectively.

I realize my headache seems to be gone for good.  Being on someone's crap-list seems to be a cure. who knew?  maybe it was the adrenaline rush.

that was my stellar day. When homeschool moms go bad....