An open letter to the man at Starbucks

Dear man-who ordered the venti vanilla latte breve, decaf;

We are extremely sorry that you picked up my husband's venti vanilla latte breve-quad shot by mistake.
And as you were lying awake at 3 a.m. wondering if all of Starbucks had laughed at you as you walked outside oblivious to your mistake, I would like to assure you that is was only a small 1/4 of the cafe that laughed. It was really more of a sympathy-snicker, really. Everyone felt really bad for you, it was not done on purpose. You were in too much of a hurry for anyone to realize the sad truth until your order showed up at the counter.

I don't know if this will console you, as you frantically dig out the cup from your trash can at 3 a.m. and confirm the clearly marked "4" written on the side of the cup, or only fan the flames of resentment in your agitated/very awake-being, but it was really your own fault. Don't be in such a hurry next time.
As Juan Valdez himself, would probably tell you, -a true connoisseur of coffee savors his drink and does not rush. The first really will be last. It's a cosmic thing, don't you know.